Monday, December 30, 2013

Doris Lessing, a writer with humility



Novelist Doris Lessing (pictured), who died recently at age 94, had won many awards and prizes for her work, but hadn’t cared much about them.

For example, one day she was returning home from grocery shopping when a Reuters reporter standing in front of her house informed her that she had been awarded the 2007 Nobel Prize for Literature. Her reaction is worth watching – from her first words (“Oh, Christ.”) to her asking the reporter what he thought she should say. (Can you imagine, say, Donald Trump asking that?) See the video here (2 minutes and 23 seconds).

It was not her first show of disdain for honors. In 1992 she was offered the chance to become a Dame; she declined the offer with a letter to then-Prime Minister John Major’s Principal Private Secretary, Alex Allan. Here’s a sample:
“Dame of what? Dame of Britain? Dame of the British Islands? Dame of the British Commonwealth? Dame of ....? Never mind.” (Spacing modified from the original)
The Takeaway: What a woman! May she rest in peace.

See disclaimer.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Ten steps to becoming a better writer



In my long career as a writer and editor, I’ve trained and encouraged hundreds of writers. I’ve never seen a better piece of advice than “10 Steps to Becoming a Better Writer,” by Brian Clark, founder of Copyblogger.

The Takeaway: Follow Mr. Clark’s advice and you will succeed.

See disclaimer.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Another Maugham nugget



Recently I quoted a beautiful  example of concise, clear writing from the short story “The Alien Corn,” by W. Somerset Maugham (pictured). In a later passage in the same work, a professional pianist is playing for the guests at a British country house party. The narrator says:

“She played Bach. I do not know the names of the pieces, but I recognized the stiff ceremonial of the frenchified little German courts and the sober, thrifty comfort of the burghers, and the dancing on the village green, the green trees that looked like Christmas trees, and the sunlight on the wide German country, and a tender cosiness; and in my nostrils there was a warm scent of the soil and I was conscious of a sturdy strength that seemed to have its roots deep in mother earth, and of an elemental power that was timeless and had no home in space.”

This brief passage (only 103 words) gives the reader a description of Germany during Bach’s lifetime (1685-1750). It is fiction, so it may or may not be historically accurate; however, it clearly is compelling. It is loaded with specifics. It appeals to multiple senses.

Although the sentences are long, the passage still rates a Flesch Reading Ease (FRE) score of 60.2 – approximately as easy to read as Reader’s Digest. Maugham makes clear, concise writing look easy, but of course it isn’t.

The Takeaway: To improve the clarity of your writing, spend at least 10 minutes a day reading aloud from writers who write clearly. You will see, hear and feel the stark contrast between careful diction and the careless, vague, infantile diction (sample here) that besets us every day. The topic you select for your reading doesn’t matter, because you’re reading for style not content. If you would like a list of recommended writers and works, please email me at joeroy(at)joeroy(dot)com. Ask for my “List of Writers to Absorb.” I will respond via email.

See disclaimer.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Don't be trendy – be considerate

Don’t abuse the preposition around

A corporate writer recently wrote “The company wanted to improve its processes around managing change.” The preposition of, or the preposition for, would have been more precise than the preposition around.

A political writer wrote “centering assessment around common work.” It should have been “centering assessment on common work.”

Very likely, these writers abused around simply because they wanted to follow the cutesy trend of promiscuously abusing around. The writers indulged their desire to be cutesy at the expense of their readers, who must pause for a few moments and decode the sentences. In other words, the writers were being fatuous, lazy and inconsiderate.

Other cutesy, semi-literate fads include the abuse of comfortabledriveexcitedissuepassionself-esteem and sustainability. Such abuse not only confuses your readers but also dulls your mind.

The Takeaway: Be considerate of your readers; don’t follow semi-literate fads. Following semi-literate fads may cause your semi-literate readers to admire you, but it will almost certainly cause your literate readers to disdain you.

See disclaimer.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Don’t abuse the preposition “to” (4)

Kaiser Wilhelm II (left, saluting) and Tsar Nicholas II (right)
Don’t abuse the preposition to. In other words, don’t try to force it to do the work of other prepositions. Previously I posted examples (here) of this abuse. Here are more examples:

“The Limbic System is a part of the brain that developed with the caveman. In caveman days the world was a very different place to [sic for from] what it is now.” (Source)

“While there have always been self-described feminists who genuinely believe in the whole ‘equality’ thing, they have repeatedly been demonstrated to be dupes to [sic for of] the hatemongers who control the money and the public policy decisions.” (Source)

“Therefore, with regard to the hearty and tender friendship which binds us both from long ago with firm ties, I am exerting my utmost influence to induce the Austrians to deal straightly to arrive to [sic for at] a satisfactory understanding with you.” (Source: a July 28, 1914, telegram from Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany to his cousin Tsar Nicholas II of Russia)

The Takeaway: Be precise with your prepositions.

See disclaimer.

Peter O'Toole, R.I.P.


Thursday, December 12, 2013

Thoughtful writing

We have previously discussed examples of thoughtless writing; for example, here and here. Today I present a delightful example of thoughtful writing. It is the web site of Nashoba Valley Winery, which also runs a restaurant (pictured).

On the restaurant page of the web site, these two lines caught my eye:

Please note that reservations are strongly recommended.
Click Here for our definition of Strongly Recommended.

It is worth clicking through and reading that definition.

Another thing that caught my eye was the FAQ, which includes a detailed Dog Policy. The dog policy is really worth a read.

Analysis: The writer’s diction and punctuation are a little rough around the edges, but it is obvious that he wanted to communicate clearly. The policies use clear phrases such as “you must take responsibility” and “have any dog removed without cause at any time.” The writer doesn’t slop around with euphemisms or evasions.

Very few companies do a good job of defining their terms. This company does. Click through and take a look. The site is full of good examples of clear, deep communication.

The Takeaway: Whenever you are writing for publication, be thoughtful. Don’t just slap together a bunch of jargon and cliches and send it out. Instead, quietly and deliberately ask yourself what it is that you really want to convey. Think of examples. Get your thoughts clear and your words will be clear; it will help you produce a good first draft. Then conscientiously work through another draft or two and you should have something you can publish and be proud of.

Disclaimer: I have no financial interest in the winery; I don’t even like wine particularly. Also see my general disclaimer.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Concise writing is usually clear writing (36) – H. L. Mencken


In 1931, Will Durant asked some well-known people to write down what meaning life has for them. H. L. Mencken (pictured) replied with a concise, straightforward 1128-word letter.

Here are two samples, totaling 125 words:
“I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs. There is in every living creature an obscure but powerful impulse to active functioning. Life demands to be lived.”
. . .
“I am far luckier than most men, for I have been able since boyhood to make a good living doing precisely what I have wanted to do – what I would have done for nothing, and very gladly, if there had been no reward for it. Not many men, I believe, are so fortunate. Millions of them have to make their livings at tasks which really do not interest them. As for me, I have had an extraordinarily pleasant life, despite the fact that I have had the usual share of woes.”

For the record, the samples jointly rate a Flesch Reading Ease (FRE) score of 73.6 – easier to read than Reader’s Digest.

The Takeaway: To improve the clarity of your writing, spend at least 10 minutes a day reading aloud from writers who write clearly. You will see, hear and feel the stark contrast between careful diction and the careless, vague, infantile diction (sample here) that besets us every day. The topic you select for your reading doesn’t matter, because you’re reading for style not content. If you would like a list of recommended writers and works, please email me at joeroy(at)joeroy(dot)com. Ask for my “List of Writers to Absorb.” I will respond via email.

An editorial comment: The second sample above contains a quick test of whether you really are a writer: Would you write for nothing?

See disclaimer.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

"Foot in Mouth" award for an MEP



A Member of the European Parliament (MEP) has received the “Foot in Mouth” gobbledygook award for 2013. Godfrey Bloom (pictured), Independent MEP for Yorkshire and the Humber (UK), was described as a “wince-inducing gaffe machine” by a spokesman for the Plain English Campaign, which sponsors the award.

The Takeaway: Take a look at the original news article. What this fellow says in public is far removed from what we know (recall?) as polite British speech.

See disclaimer.

Happy Birthday, Joan Didion.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Concise writing is usually clear writing (35) – W. Somerset Maugham



Here’s another outstanding example of concise, clear writing.

In his short story “The Alien Corn,” W. Somerset Maugham (pictured) describes the guests at a British country house party. Most of them are members of the social elite. To make the mix of guests more varied and interesting, the hostess has also invited a Jewish businessman and a novelist (the narrator of the short story). The novelist feels awkward and the cosmopolitan, charming businessman comes to his rescue:
“...I felt shy and alone among these Cabinet Ministers, great ladies, and peers of the realm who talked of people of which I knew nothing. They were civil to me, but indifferent, and I was conscious that I was somewhat of a burden to my hostess. Ferdy saved me. He sat with me, walked with me, and talked with me. He discovered that I was a writer and we discussed the drama and the novel; he learnt that I had lived much on the Continent and he talked to me pleasantly of France, Germany, and Spain. He seemed really to seek my society. He gave me the flattering impression that he and I stood apart from the other members of the company and by our conversation upon affairs of the spirit made that of the rest of them, the political situation, the scandal of somebody’s divorce, and the growing disinclination of pheasants to be killed, seem a little ridiculous.”
The situation is probably autobiographical; Maugham received such invitations from artistically pretentious hostesses, and he did his best to endure the events. He probably did not usually have a Ferdy to save him. From the last sentence in the quotation above, we get a sense of the typical conversation. The phrase about pheasants nicely sums up the British elite in eight words, and more subtly than Monty Python would have.

For the record: The passage is 159 words long. It rates a Flesch Reading Ease (FRE) score of 65.3 – approximately as easy to read as Reader’s Digest.

The Takeaway: To improve the clarity of your writing, spend at least 10 minutes a day reading aloud from writers who write clearly. You will see, hear and feel the stark contrast between careful diction and the careless, vague, infantile diction (sample here) that besets us every day. The topic you select for your reading doesn’t matter, because you’re reading for style not content. If you would like a list of recommended writers and works, please email me at joeroy(at)joeroy(dot)com. Ask for my “List of Writers to Absorb.” I will respond via email.

See disclaimer.