Use reverse type sparingly, if at all

Two days ago, bitly displayed this message on its home page:

“Hi there! As you may have heard, we’re rolling out some exciting changes today. We’re hard at work flipping giant candy-colored switches to turn this thing on — we should have you all set up soon, so check back here in a bit!”

The message was in reverse type (light letters against a dark background), which is difficult to read.

The Takeaway: Don’t make your text difficult to read. Don’t put large amounts of text in reverse type, weird typefaces, italics, or all caps.

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Placement of modifiers (18)

Careless placement of modifiers is a frequent cause of unclear or embarrassing writing. Here’s an example of the careless placement of a modifier:

“A Pembroke man has been charged with criminal solicitation to commit murder following a two-month investigation by the state police.” Full story

The reader can’t believe that the writer wanted the phrase “following a two-month investigation” to modify “commit” or “solicitation.” The reader assumes that the writer wanted the phrase to modify “charged,” even though he has placed the phrase closer to “commit” and “solicitation” than to “charged.”

The sentence probably should have been:

Following a two-month investigation by the state police, a Pembroke man has been charged with criminal solicitation to commit murder.

The Takeaway: Place every modifier as close as possible to what it modifies. Don’t make your reader work harder to read a sentence than you worked to write it.

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Grandiose and gratuitous

In a recent Medicare Summary Notice, I saw this sentence:

“To provide you with the best possible service, the Medicare Summary Notice is now available in Spanish.”

With a moment’s thought, many readers will recognize that the phrase “provide you with the best possible service” is grandiose and gratuitous.

It is grandiose because it suggests that a minor change in policy (offering the document in an additional language) achieves a major goal (the best possible service). Not just improved service, mind you; the best possible service.

The writer could have avoided the grandiosity by writing “as part of our continuing effort to provide the best possible service.”

But one could argue that it is gratuitous to even mention a reason for offering an additional language. For, when any organization does business in several languages, the reason is obvious: the organization is offering each language for the convenience of part of its customer base.

So, the writer probably should have written, “The Medicare Summary Notice is now available in Spanish.” And he should have written it in Spanish.

The intelligent, alert reader gives these matters a moment’s thought, but that writer probably did not. He probably just picked the phrase “best possible service” off the top of his head.

The Takeaway: Think before you write. Or at the very least, think as you edit. Otherwise, you run the risk of looking careless or even foolish to your readers.

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Kurt Vonnegut on book burning

Charles McCarthy, a politician, removed all 32 copies of the novel Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut (pictured), from the local high school and burned them. Mr. McCarthy said the novel contained “obscene language.”

When Mr. Vonnegut heard of the book burning, he wrote a powerful and touching letter to Mr. McCarthy. Here’s an excerpt:

“If you were to bother to read my books, to behave as educated persons would, you would learn that they are not sexy, and do not argue in favor of wildness of any kind. They beg that people be kinder and more responsible than they often are. It is true that some of the characters speak coarsely. That is because people speak coarsely in real life. Especially soldiers and hardworking men speak coarsely, and even our most sheltered children know that. And we all know, too, that those words really don’t damage children much. They didn’t damage us when we were young. It was evil deeds and lying that hurt us.”
 
The Takeaway: In this time of politically correct hypersensitivity, effeteness and non-judgmentalism, we are forgetting how to speak our minds. To prevent forgetting, keep reading good writers.

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A writing manifesto

Daphne Gray-Grant, an excellent writer-editor-trainer-coach, recently published a writing manifesto. It consists of ten principles about the process of writing, rather than about “the words, sentences and paragraphs we produce.” She says the ten principles “helped me transform writing from a task I dreaded to my favourite job of the day.”

The Takeaway: Read Daphne Gray-Grant’s manifesto. And keep it on file for frequent review. This is solid-gold advice.

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Prefer strong verbs to weak verbs (2)

If you aim to write clear, informative, persuasive English, you should prefer strong verbs to weak verbs. Usually, weak verbs are general and dull, while strong verbs are specific and expressive. By far, the most common weak verbs are to be and to have.

Example

WEAK: “Yet the anti-Clinton right and the anti-Bush left should recognize that Obama sums up the horrors of both administrations.... We have the 1990s hysteria about populist rightwingers helping to bolster the police state. Alongside the fear of American patriots is the Bush-era hysteria toward Muslims and crackdowns on antiwar protesters. It is the perfect storm for both fascism and socialism...” (Boldface added.) (Source.)

STRONG: Yet the anti-Clinton right and the anti-Bush left should recognize that Obama sums up the horrors of both administrations. Clinton fomented the 1990s hysteria about populist rightwingers to bolster the police state; Bush fomented the hysteria toward Muslims and ordered crackdowns on antiwar protesters. Clinton and Bush fostered both fascism and socialism.

The Takeaway: When you fear you have written some weak copy, here’s a quick way to strengthen it: Count the instances of to be and to have. If there are a great many, replace several with strong verbs. In a 1,500-word article, for example, even ten or twelve replacements will make a noticeable difference. As you write or edit, always prefer strong verbs to weak verbs. It will become a habit, and it will improve your writing forever.

A Good Resource: I recommend you read this brief lesson from the writing center of The University of North Carolina at Greensboro. From time to time, re-read it to gauge your progress.

See disclaimer.

Elmore Leonard’s rules for good writing

Here are Elmore Leonard’s ten rules for good writing, via curiosity counts via Om Malik.

The Takeaway: Keep learning from good writers.

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A great lesson in empathy

On this blog I frequently discuss the importance of having empathy for your reader: knowing how your reader will probably react to what you write. In several posts I’ve shown detailed examples of reader reactions, such as Dale Carnegie’s reactions to an impudent sales letter.

Here’s another example. The reader, Peter Shankman, is an intelligent, creative thinker and a highly skilled writer. He was reacting to an especially stupid public-relations pitch. He was generous enough to respond with a detailed, helpful, educational blog post.

The Takeaway: I urge you to read Mr. Shankman’s post. Although you and I are (we hope) unlikely to ever be as churlish as the PR person who pitched Mr. Shankman, we should always welcome opportunities to learn more about empathy.

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Harper Lee vs. Hanover County School Board

If you ever have the desire to use the written word to put someone in his place, you can derive inspiration from a letter that Harper Lee (pictured) wrote to the school board in Hanover County, Virginia. The board had removed all copies of To Kill a Mockingbird from school libraries. She told the board where to go.

The Takeaway: In this time of politically correct hypersensitivity, effeteness and non-judgmentalism, we are forgetting how to speak our minds. To prevent forgetting, keep reading good writers.

See disclaimer.