How to write a sentence (parody)

In case you missed it. The New Yorker (may require subscription) ran a wonderful parody of an instructional article about writing a sentence. Here’s a sample:

Why sentences? Well, that question answers itself, really. Look at it: “Why sentences?” There’s something missing, isn’t there? I’ll tell you: yes. What’s missing is the rest of the words. And it’s shoddy. It’s shoddy and lazy. It’s shoddy and lazy and frustrating, sticking out there like a bad piece of junk. I’m disappointed on both our behalves.

The Takeaway: Have fun finding the errors in the parody. To read an example of an inadvertent self-parody (also on the topic of writing), go here.

See disclaimer.

A space between words in an expression

A space between words can change the meaning of an expression. Here are three examples:

Every day vs. everyday

In the sentence, “I walk every day,” the expression every day is an adverbial phrase (an adverb that consists of two or more words – in this case an adjective and a noun). The adverbial phrase every day modifies the verb walk. Namely, it tells how often I walk.

In the cookbook title The Old Farmer’s Almanac Everyday Baking, the word everyday is an adjective that modifies the gerund baking. Namely, it tells what kind of baking.

Log on vs. logon

The expression log on is a phrasal verb (a verb that consists of two or more words). In this particular phrasal verb, the word log is a verb and the word on is a particle. This particle functions as an adverb; it modifies the verb log. Namely, it changes the meaning from “to record something” to “to establish communication and initiate interaction with a time-shared computer or network.”

The word logon is a noun. It is the act or process of logging on, or the credentials required to log on.

Set up vs. setup

The expression set up, like the expression log on, is a phrasal verb. It has many definitions.

The word setup, like the word logon, is a noun. It has many definitions.

The Takeaway: In many expressions (for example, speech writer or speechwriter), a space does not change the meaning. But in many expressions (like the expressions discussed above) it does. You just have to learn expressions one by one, by reading good writing. Keep in mind: If you don’t learn, you will undermine your credibility. You see, when an intelligent reader notices that a writer frequently uses spaces carelessly, the reader concludes that that writer does not read anything but social media and graphic novels, and therefore that the writer is ignorant, and therefore that the writer is not worth reading. So, read good writing.

See disclaimer.

Mr. Clarity’s vacation

My wife and I recently took a 5-day trip to Portland and Bar Harbor, Maine. The trip was enjoyable and relaxing. I was off-duty, but I couldn’t help noticing two things:

A rare error at the art museum

At the Portland Museum of Art, the information card next to Winslow Homer’s Artists Sketching in the White Mountains reads in part, “The practice of plein-air painting was a basic tenant [sic for tenet] of [a certain school of art].” Even in this age of careless writing, museum staffs rarely make that kind of mistake.

A company with a pompous tagline

On the Portland waterfront is a fishing company called “North Atlantic, Inc.” The company’s tagline is “Innovative Seafood Solutions.” My first impulse was to telephone the company and say that I had a refrigerated tractor-trailer full of frozen haddock, and the compressor had conked out, and the load was melting – and ask if the company had a solution for my problem. But I figured the company was probably tired of jokes like that.

The Takeaway: Enjoy your day.

See disclaimer.