Concise writing is usually clear writing (1)

Here’s a quick way to get started when you want to produce clear writing: As you edit your first draft, look for wordy phrases to shorten. Wordy phrases are usually vague as well as wordy. And to make matters worse, wordy phrases often contain passive-voice verbs. (Passive voice is generally harder to understand than active voice.)

This is an example of the use of wordy phrases. It is from the web site of Entropic Communications:

“Our c.LINK technology has been designed to address [vague, wordy phrase] the very difficult communications environment of the coax home network architecture. The coax home system is designed for a “vertical” communications to and from the cable system head-end to [vague, wordy phrase] the devices connected to coax outlets in the home… [boldface added]”

Here’s an easy revision, making the boldfaced phrases more concise:

Our c.LINK technology is for [precise, concise phrase] the very difficult communications environment of the coax home network architecture. The coax home system “vertically” connects the cable system head-end and [precise, concise phrase] the devices connected to coax outlets in the home…

The Takeaway: When editing your first draft, start with the obviously wordy phrases. Think about how you could boil them down. (A good way is to say aloud how you could phrase them more simply.) Boiling down even a few wordy phrases will make a big difference.