Placement of modifiers (17)

Careless placement of modifiers is a frequent cause of unclear or embarrassing writing. Here’s an example of the careless placement of a modifier:

“He was later charged with indecent assault on a child under 14 and posing a child in a state of nudity in West Roxbury Court.”

The reader abruptly stops there. He can’t believe that the writer wanted the phrase “in West Roxbury Court” to modify “posing” or “assault.” The reader assumes that the writer wanted the phrase to modify “charged,” even though he has placed the phrase closer to “posing” and “assault” than to “charged.”

The sentence probably should have been:

“He was later charged in West Roxbury Court with indecent assault on a child under 14 and posing a child in a state of nudity.”

The Takeaway: Place every modifier as close as possible to what it modifies. Don’t make your readers work harder to read a sentence than you worked to write it.

See disclaimer.

Thanks to Paul Henning for spotting this news item.