The periodic sentence (3)

In previous posts (1), (2), we’ve discussed live, online examples of the periodic sentence, as opposed to the loose sentence. In a periodic sentence, the main clause, or the predicate of the main clause, appears very late.

Today we have a live, online and egregious example of a periodic sentence. The example is from the January 23 issue of Fortune magazine. In an article about Peter Schiff, a celebrity financial commentator, we see this sentence:

“One ten-minute video on YouTube that’s packed with some of his ‘greatest hits’ – with, for instance, clips of Schiff predicting a brutal recession and massive credit crunch while prominent debate partners, such as writer and actor Ben Stein and former Reagan economic advisor Art Laffer, make what now sound like laughably optimistic counterarguments – has been viewed just over a million times at last count.”

The predicate of this periodic sentence, “has been viewed just over a million times at last count,” follows 53 words. That’s enough words to make two overly long sentences. And the 53 words contain three clauses and several prepositional and participial phrases. That is a lot of structure to expect the reader to keep in mind while he waits for the predicate.

It would not take much revision to relieve the burden on the reader’s short-term memory. Here’s an example.

More than a million viewers have watched one of his videos on YouTube. The ten-minute video includes some of his “greatest hits” – for instance, clips of Schiff predicting a brutal recession and massive credit crunch while writer and actor Ben Stein, former Reagan economic advisor Art Laffer, and other prominent debaters make what now sound like laughably optimistic counterarguments. [Loose sentence.]

The Takeaway: An occasional periodic sentence is OK. But whenever you do use a periodic sentence, please spare your reader: don’t use too many words before completing the syntax. Thirty words is a lot for most readers. Fifty-three words, as in today’s live example, is definitely too much. That’s why I called it an egregious example.

The periodic sentence (1)
The periodic sentence (2)