Untidy metaphors

Untidy metaphors are metaphors that look, sound and feel unfinished. When you use an untidy metaphor, your reader may not fully understand your point. You waste time – yours and your reader’s.

Example of an untidy metaphor

A published interview quoted a New Zealand politician: “…there are dangers in crossing the road [of genetic modification of food] and there are dangers in not crossing it.” The interviewer wrote: “No specifics, just an untidy metaphor prepared by someone less sharp than himself.”

Example of an untidier metaphor

If a speaker uses an impromptu metaphor, it may be so untidy that it suggests incongruous and confusing tangents.

This possibility is humorously demonstrated in a commercial in which a girl asks her mother what a certain word means. Because it is an adult word, the girl’s mother becomes flustered. She tries to give an age-appropriate answer by constructing a bland metaphor. But while she is constructing the metaphor, her daughter keeps interrupting with innocent clarifying questions that lead to humorous tangents.

The Takeaway: Whenever we create a metaphor, we should think it through, from the reader’s or listener’s point of view. In particular, we should try to foresee any tangents that may distract the reader or listener.