Safety warnings

Clear writing is crucial in a safety warning. People who write safety warnings should be especially diligent. But often they are sloppy.

Here’s an example of sloppy work:

Example

On March 31, 2011, The Weather Channel published a government “Winter Storm Warning” for the part of New Hampshire where I live. Here’s one paragraph:

A WINTER STORM WARNING FOR HEAVY SNOW MEANS SEVERE WINTER WEATHER CONDITIONS ARE EXPECTED OR OCCURRING. SIGNIFICANT AMOUNTS OF SNOW ARE FORECAST THAT WILL MAKE TRAVEL DANGEROUS. ONLY TRAVEL IN AN EMERGENCY. IF YOU MUST TRAVEL... KEEP AN EXTRA FLASHLIGHT... FOOD... AND WATER IN YOUR VEHICLE IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY. (Boldface added.)

In only 51 words, the author manages to commit six errors or irregularities.

First: He uses all capitals, which is rude.

Second: “Winter Storm Warning” is a misnomer – March 31 was the 12th day of astronomical spring and the 31st day of climatological spring.

Third: The author says “heavy snow” in the first sentence and “significant amounts of snow” in the second sentence. The reader wonders, “Are these two different terms for the same thing or two different terms for two different things? Does the government define these terms? Where?”

Fourth: The author says “Only travel in an emergency” when he probably means “Travel only in an emergency.”

Fifth: The author uses ellipses in a list of survival gear. The reader wonders, “Did he use ellipses deliberately and correctly, to indicate omissions from the list? If so, what survival gear did he omit, and why? Or, did he use ellipses in place of commas, just to be cute? If so, why did the government put such a frivolous person in charge of writing safety warnings?”

Sixth: The author uses the word “emergency” twice: First he tells you to “[o]nly travel in an emergency.” Then he tells you to keep an extra flashlight, food and water in your vehicle “in case of an emergency.” Is this emergency different from the emergency that had caused you to drive in spite of the storm?

The Takeaway: If you are ever responsible for writing or editing a safety warning, give it your most careful attention. Readers depend on you.

See disclaimer.